Parents with Aging Parent Drivers

“My sons and daughters had a meeting without me and decided they want me to stop driving, but they’re making a big deal out of nothing. I’m very comfortable on the road. I’ve driven longer than they’ve been alive.”

“We know that stopping him from driving is the first of many indignities to come. He thinks he’s not much
of a man without a car. It’s so difficult to know where to draw the line.”

“It’s difficult being in the passenger seat after so many years of safe driving.”

“There are six of us in the family – some still deny there is a problem, some tend to panic,
and the rest of us feel caught in the middle.”

DO ANY OF THESE QUOTES SOUND FAMILIAR?

"Our children talked to him about possibly not driving. They don't know it, but he cried that night.
Driving is extremely important to him. I don't want to strip him of his dignity."

- Wife whose husband has mild dementia

– Daughter of a person with dementia

– Person with dementia

– Daughter of a person with dementia

- Person in the early stages of Alzheimer's Disease

Families also experience strong emotions. Sometimes family members become angry or frustrated, while others feel guilty for depriving their loved one of the freedom of driving.

More than anyone else, older adults strongly prefer not to hear about driving concerns from a police officer. While some older adults may not welcome families talking to them about their driving, they still find it preferable over hearing it from the police. However, police intervention may be necessary in situations where an older driver is unsafe and unwilling to curtail his or her driving.

Did You Know that........

Asking a person to stop driving can be a delicate, highly emotional matter. Family members may delay having these conversations because they want to avoid conflict and hurt feelings. Some adult children do not want to challenge a parent or may already be overloaded with other responsibilities.